Trust Issues

I have trust issues.
I think I’ve been fighting this for a while, but there’s really no point, is there?
Hi, my name is Caralyn and I have trust issues.
Shocker. Right?

This is, for the most part, entirely my fault. We give those we value in our lives the most potential power to hurt us. We let them in, in fits & starts, seeping in little by little until they are such a part of our lives that ripping them out becomes entirely impossible. Until the small barbs & pain that they cause on a regular basis is actually preferable to the giant hole that removing them would leave. I’d rather be in pain than empty.

So, you see? It’s almost entirely my fault. I keep letting people in. I keep letting my general faith in humanity override the commen sense that tells me “people, for the most part, suck”. If I could just come to terms with the fact that most people in my life will, on some level, disappoint me; then I think I’d have a much healthier social outlook. I could proceed, day to day, with that as my expectation. And it wouldn’t hurt as much. But this little squirrel has been cursed with a healthy dose of optimism. And I think it may be my downfall.

Trust Issues. yeah. Let’s go with that for now. At least it’s closer to the truth. And it’s preferable to saying all those shards that used to be my heart are better at keeping people out than anything else right now.

Sorry for the depressing twist today, kids. I’ll be back to Tshirt Decon. and Cassette Tape Wallets in the very near future. Stay tuned.