Cool nonchalantly said “so let me guess, that was your first time, wasn’t it?”
No speech was necessary.
Cool nearly fell over laughing.
“You mean to tell me that in the last 24 hours or so, you’ve smoked your first bit of pot, your first cigarettes, you got drunk for the first time, AND you just lost your virginity?”
“Dude, that’s probably the best day anyone’s had EVER.”
“You think so? I puked a lot today.”
I went back to bed with Uno. No seconds. I mean, come on. Was an encore presentation of “Jared LIVE AND IN COLOR” really necessary?
Besides, have you ever pulled apart a grilled cheese?
Uno and I spoke for a few months, hung out a couple more times, hooked up once or twice the rest of that semester. Turns out I was her first as well. Lucky her, I guess?
This story has been told via microphone to my entire fraternity as part of my initiation, been told to my entire Company in the Sandbox during a bit of downtime, and probably been retold a dozen times since.
So yes, I may have PHYSICALLY been born in 1983.
I was ACTUALLY alive in 2002.
Thanks for reading.