Pieces of Meeses


In the basement laundry room one day last week while I am slogging thru piles of the kids clothes, I hear squeaking.

*F*!!

Mice?

I look around the corner & see two of these bold bastards creeping in thru the doggie door. Now I’m a bit amazed these tiny things can MOVE the doggie door let alone get thru it. It is bad enough that I come in the laundry room sometimes & when switching on the light find (now and then) my other visitors a ‘possum or two hissing @ me from atop the dryer.

I reallly hate having to chase them out w/a broom. They are not happy w/me whacking their asses & I am not happy to HAVE to be whacking their asses until they finally scoot back out the DD bitching @ me in their hissy, pissy possum voices the entire way.

The other visitors I have mostly thru the doggie door are snakes.
I suppose they either want the heat from the dryer or they are simply either LOST or INSANE. Nothing in the world is more fun than meandering into the laundry room while half asleep to find one slicking quickly across your bare feet so you won’t step on them. Lucky for them I like snakes so their visits while startling are not scream or panic worthy & I simply pick them up & sling their happy asses back outside. They are harmless & I would rather have snakes in the yard & house than I would bugs n such… they are welcome @ my house, I just want them to stay OUTSIDE.

But mice? Ummm, NO. And my cats will NOT catch things inside the house, they figure if it is IN the house, it must live here so they don’t bother the mice. (stupid cats)

So, I go to the market & get some traps. I hate setting traps. I hate killing anything well, w/the exception of cockroaches & flies. I will rip the walls out to find a roach if I ever see one in my house..

I can NOT stand those things anywhere around me.
(shudder) but I will set a 100K snap traps before I ever use poison.

I bought eight & I have set them so far… six times EACH.

I must have smart mice for I have used Peanut Butter, I have used Jelly, I have used icing and I have used bologna, chicken, butter and nigh on just about everything you can imagine to snag these twits.

Until Saturday I had been only finding empty traps, empty bait holders & Thank You notes from the mice.

*F* ers.

Six traps X eight times set = NOTHING?

Not good.

But for some reason Saturday I figured to use Cheese.
You know CHEESE? the things people in cartoons & stories use…

But then I was torn between what KIND of cheese to use.

I mean honsetly, what kind of cheese do mice LIKE? it isn’t as if they go to little mousy supermarkets and have cheese and wine parties so how am I to know?

Choices, choices….

Provolone? Cheddar? Co-Jack? American? PepperJack?

I used American. I figured since they are AMERICAN mice..
they will die by American cheese.

So far? I have caught over a dozen in my laundry room.

I am beyond grossed out for I dont know if they are coming in the door to get the cheese (knowing it is there by word of mouth or mousy advertisments in their little mousy newspapers) or if the bounders are IN my damned laundry room & I am simply gleaning them from the crop.

If they are inside the room tho..

WTF are they hiding b/c I never SEE them?!?!!?

I am going to paint a TEENSY TINY sign that reads:

SparKy’s Deli is NOT on the Other Side Of This Door

and hang it over the doggie door on the outside.

I hope Mice can read.

Because I am beyond tired of disposing of their littly furry bulgy eyed soft and gray teensy corpses…

CHEESE-

whoodathunkit?