Movie Etiquette

Just because a movie is free, doesn’t mean you have carte blanche to do whatever you like. I may not have paid for the movie but I am there because I want to see it and I’m not going to waste my time coming to a movie only to not get to watch it properly. I also don’t feel that I should be forced to pay for the movie in order to get the respect necessary to watch it.

Let me explain a little something about how movies and movie theatres work: the theatre is dark for a reason. Also, the sound is blaring for a reason. The reason is to allow the viewer to be immersed in the world the director has created. If you can’t get immersed into the world on the screen, you are not going to reap all the benefits of the movie, if you even get it at all.

Remember when you were a kid and you’d make a fort out of the kitchen chairs, couch and a bunch of blankets? Or when you’d crawl under your covers and read a book? Why did you do that? It was to block out the real world so you could create your own world with your imagination. That’s what the dark theatre is for. When you talk, or start texting on your bright cell phone, you are ripping the covers off that fort and letting all the imagination out.

The director tries very hard to make every look, every move, every special effect and every sound create the environment and feeling that give the most to that world they are trying to create. Sometimes they are good at it, sometimes they aren’t. Regardless of that factor, you talking throughout the whole fucking movie only detracts from what is there.

The choices the director makes are also made to project the proper foreshadowing. Most of the time this is obvious because, let’s face it, we’ve seen so many movies that it’s about impossible to surprise us anymore. That does not mean that you can shout out what is going to happen. You aren’t smart, you aren’t clever and you aren’t cool. You are an ass.

If you are not serious about enjoying the movie, don’t go.

If you get into a movie and you find that you’re not enjoying it and would prefer to yak on and on or text, please remove yourself from the theatre.

If you find either of the above to be true but you really want to watch through it, just shut your mouth and watch, or leave and wait for it to come out on DVD. Don’t ruin it for everyone else.

And finally, no one understands the desire to exploit the perfect timing for a comedic moment like I do, but if you have any respect for the other people in the theatre, you’ll pass it up. The only exception to this would be during a comedy. The really good joke with proper timing can add to the movie. Comedies don’t require the same imaginary world that other movies require. If the movie isn’t meant to be a comedy, please shut your mouth.

Thank you.