metros part 2

#5 White people wearing FUBU

Let me first say this, you are not a bad ass, you are not cool, your ancestors were never oppressed, and secretly everyone is making fun of you. I’m all about hip-hop, its culture and fashion. That being said, the occasional t-shirt or jersey is fine, but if i ever see you with a straight billed hat cocked to one side with FUBU on the front I might just do you a favor and kill you (maybe even twice if I’m in a bad mood or if I’ve been under the influence of tequila–which is likely). White people wearing FUBU is like a Jew driving a German car, they just shouldn’t for principle. Other unacceptable trends in list, i put them in a list cause if I really need to explain why you can’t wear these you might as well go join the EMO in his (i use his as a term loosely) grave. so here we go: fake anything….no fake gold, platinum, silver even for you really broke asses, diamonds (especially when you have a 10k paperwieght plugged into your ear–you are not a running back for the Saints, we know you couldnt possibly afford in a lifetime with your paychecks from McDonalds), and even those gay ass glasses I already told you to take off your face. If your not a pro player you can’t pull the look off, hell even they have to wear suits and ties–catch the drift numb nuts.

So now that we got this straight I’m going to resume my normal daily function, looking at girls by day and taking them home by night. If you took some notes from this, and reading a few Gaudio articles wouldn’t kill ya either, you should become a little more likely to get laid. If you still can’t get laid, well at least your not at a Star Wars convention. Its better to whack off, than get made fun of and still have to go home alone and rub one out!

copyright alky 2007