Matrimony, the symptom of a disease??


Is matrimony the symptom of a disease that is plaguing western culture? I believe it is! Matrimony in most cases in todays society is a direct result of low self-esteem.

Many of you right now are saying to yourselfs, this guy is crazy! He has no idea what he is talking about! Well, if you deny that there is something wrong with the occurance of marraige in this country as well as most of the western culture, let me ask you a question. If you look at the number of people in the United States Alone who got married in 2006, how many of those couples do you thing will still be married in 2056?

People in this country in particular get married because they do not want to lose thier partner! I hear woman say it all the time. “If he doesn’t ask me to marry him soon, I am going to leave him and find a real man.” I hear men say, “We have been together for two years and she wants to get married. I better propose before I lose her.”

Wait, there are worse cases still. People who get married after knowing someone for a few weeks or months. They think they have found someone good and the ask them to marry them to keep from losing them. All these things lead to DIVORCE!!!!!

Marraige these days is not about love or virtue or honor! It is about the good ole American dream! What is the American dream all about? Property!!!!! After all, why did people come here from the old world? They came in the name of religious freedom. The came in the name of freedom from oppression in one form or another. These were all false fronts! People came to the new world for one thing, and one thing only! They came to the new world where they heard there was land, empty land as far as the eye could see! Ownership ladies and gentleman is what the American dream is all about!

Marriage in this country is just another perpetuation of the same ideology! People want property! Men as well as woman. Why else would we take a person that we supposedly care about and sign a contract stating that we will be bound to one another for (cough) the rest of our lives? We do it because we have low self esteem and we need that property or the ownership of someone else to secure our future! After all, what happens if we do not marry that person? Someone may come along and steal them away!

A long time ago, marraiges were arranged as a union between two families. There was no pretense, no denial of real intentions. It was a business transaction. The divorce rate was lower then than it is now! Those couples, or many of them, learned to love each other and stayed together. Maybe this was due to the fact that to divorce in those times was a disgrace! But maybe, just maybe that system worked better than the one we have now. Marraige is too easy!!! Diovorce is too easy!!!!

Both these life altering acts can be accomplished virtually over night! Why???? Shouldn’t we as a society have a responsibility to make this a more difficult process? The answer is YES!!!! However, more importantly, we all have a responsibility to ourselves to do things for the right reasons, not just because it feels right!

I am not saying that people do not ever get married for the right reasons, but those cases are few and far between. The rate of divorce in the United States alone speaks volumes about that! There are those lucky couples out there who maried for love and have been together for a very long time. How many of those people do you actually know these days? Very few I would be willing to bet! Your grandparents?

There are people out there who have transcended to a higher level. They have found a life partner and have been with them for years and years without even the thought of getting married. That my friends is the truest form of commitment. They do it without selfishness, they do it without fear. They have enough belief in themselves and others, that tey do not need a piece of paper or the contract with a devine being to hold them together. To those of you out there, I salute you! You should be held as the standard to which we all should live!

Believe in yourself, believe in your partner and do not allow yourself to become sick with the disease of low self-esteem. We are ALL worthy of someones affection and we do not need to own them in order to keep it!

Joshua Kristen