It’s been awhile

It’s been a hot minute since I last blogged on here, and I think it is about time I share with you all what’s up with me. I’ve been to a few more events and met some really chill people. I’ve even run into some fellow New Yorkers, and that has made me feel more comfortable when I head out for the night. Not to mention our being the 1st Annual Bowling Tournament Champions!!!! That was a kick ass time, and I feel bad for anyone that was panzy enough to sign up and not show, you suck. We had a blast, and the after party at the Spot was just as kick ass!

I have been thinking these last few days about stupid beef that people start. I used to spend a lot of time in the hood when I was a kid, I didn’t have to, I lived in a nice house on a quiet street with a fucked up family life, but I would escape to the streets and it led to a lot of bad decisions in my life. I can remember people threatening me just for looking at em funny, and then for no reason pulling a knife out or a gun out and bringing their beef with me right to my door step. I wasn’t a punk, and I know that too many times I brought it right back at em. It was that mentality that had me getting in trouble, getting chased by the cops, had the fenes after me once or twice cuz they didn’t like my product, all types of bull shit, yah know? I know earlier this week I was pretty pissed at a few people, and I brought it to em. How they handled it is how they handled it, and I have since calmed down a bit. I’m not sweating petty bull shit anymore, it’s a waste of time.

So I think back to the days that I used to be after people, that I would start a fight or pull some shit on some one for no reason. And it makes me sad. All the people that for no reason I held a grudge against. Whether they were on the wrong block at the wrong time, or because they took something I thought belonged to me. It was all a waste. But I have learned from those choices that I made, and to most of you the person I was just talking about is not a person that you know. I have chosen to change my life, to be a better person, a person that cares and stands up for what I believe in, because the killing and the hatred is not the way that life should be. I shouldn’t have to hit someone to get my point across, I should be able to verbalize my distress to them and deal with it. They should be able to as well, and that is what I attempt to do everyday.

I work with students today that I am able to relate to, and them to me. I am real with them, and I don’t sugar coat anything for them. My co-worker Janelle thinks that I have a gift to reach students, and this may be true, but the way in which I see it, I am just telling them how it is. I don’t hide myself from them, and I show them emotion and reality like most adults wont do in their lives. I love my students, all of them. The day one of my students graduates, I will be one of the happiest people in their lives. For a lot of them, they will be the only one in their family to accomplish such a thing, it is something that not even I could do the traditional way. I’ll be like a proud parent, and I look forward to that day.

Anyway, thank you Mojo for a great couple of weeks. I owe you all a lot for a lot of great times! I look forward to many more, and I owe you all for introducing me to one of the greatest women in my life right now. Steph is phenomenal, and I hope that things continue to progress at a steady pace and that both of us will continue to be happy together. It’s been great thus far, and the future only looks brighter.

I’m out for now, but I want to leave you all with this video for all the friends and enemies I have lost to the streets. They are always on my mind…