you know.. for those of you that have read my last entry.. you can see that I haven’t had the best year this past year..
I just feel like things have all been crumbling down around me. I feel like i have realized so much about people too.
I love my mom, I really do. I know that she has been dealt a hard hand in life, and I feel bad for her. She lost her mom at 16 was then raised by an abusive father. Had my brother when she was 18 going on 19. Got married to my dad at a young age.. had me at 22.. was in a verbally abusive relationship with my dad. Divorced him, married my stepdad.. and has gone through hell and back with him.. and sometimes he still treats her terribly. She just recently lost her best friend and now is talking about divorcing my stepdad.. b/c for Christmas she got nothing from anyone. I have been broke b/c i withdrew from school, and haven’t been able to get a job.
Even though she has been through all of this, I feel like she does cause a lot of trouble for herself. She sometimes doesn’t know when to just not say things. She just keeps going on and on.. and causes more problems. I know some of you are reading this wondering why I am writing about this on mojo, but I am able to get it out.
Thats really the way I am. I keep things inside of me for a long time, and when I finally feel like opening up.. I have to get it out.. or else i will just bottle it up in me for longer.
I also have realized some things about people. I think that sometimes people hold onto grudges for too long, or just don’t realize that life is way too short to be angry.. or immature. When I came back from school I was really hoping to catch up with old friends.. and see people that I thought I missed. Some of the people have been really great to see.. and others.. I really wish I would have never seen.
Like I said in my last post, I had my heart broken. I mean shattered. Him and i have still been able to stay friends, b/c thats just the way I am. I like to keep as many friends as I have. But since he has been home from school, it seems that everyone else is more important then me. I HATE THAT. I hate feeling like I am the last resort to someone. Actually it seems like all the friends that I have.. I am the last person they call to hang out with. I just don’t get it. I am a fun person to be around, and I am honest, and very laid back. I don’t like drama at all.. but the people that I guess I was surrounding myself with.. have to have drama in their life at all times.
I have enough drama with my family.. that I stay so far away from it. I think thats one of the reasons why I joined Mojo, was to find new friends and people to hang out with. Not one person that I have met on here, has been mean whatsoever. Everyone has welcomed me with open arms and I am just so excited to actually start hanging out with everyone.. and have great people in my life.
In good news though.. I have a 30 min phone interview with fifth third bank tomorrow to see if I get the job for a bank teller. I am so excited!! wish me luck
well, im going to bed now.. I need to get things off my mind!