Inspired or Inspiration

Its that time of year again. I love it.

I was enjoying a Jr. Bacon and Chicken Nuggets with Honey for lunch today while chatting with a very hung over Joby. (( I’m glad we’re still friends)) Any way, the conversation had lead to finding things to inspire and my feeling like I have no inspiration. I then continued to think about it after I left the boys to their killing of mens.

What inspires me?? I have a good job that, yes, I do love. Yes, it does frustrate me often, but that’s true with any job. I don’t look at this like a job either. I look at this as something I want to do for a very long time. I’ve even been dreaming about opening my own venue. MBP isn’t going to be around forever. That’s just the simple truth.

But what inspires me?? I’d love to say that its my daughter. But that isn’t even true. I think about her every day. She’s a key part of my life. I live my life for her. But that isn’t inspiration. That’s love. I’d like to think her adoption inspires me. And to a point it does.

Is it supposed to be the life that I am living?? Is it the life I’m working towards creating?? My future?? Fuck, I can barely think about what I’m going to wear tomorrow compared to next week, next month, next year, the next 10 years. I don’t think about the future because I’m to caught in what I’m trying to do now.

Do I want the lives my sisters have? With their husbands and their 3 children, a house, dogs, gardens, and gutters. To be honest I’m not all that willing to give up my life to have those things. Things I don’t think I want. I mean I want a house, and a dog. A garden even. But kids??

What is inspiration? Is it what gets you up in the morning? Is it what makes you go to your job?? Is it what makes you do what ever the fuck it is that you do??

Is anybody every really inspired daily??

Is it just a simple thought that can inspire? A simple random thought that inspires you to do something completely random? Does it have to be a person? Is it a breakup? Is it your girlfriend cheating on you? Is it your mother passing away?? Did you cat die?? Did you see a blue lighter lying on the ground and at that instant you want to jump off a bridge attached to a bungee cord?

none of this is really that important. I just felt like a rant. I’m not having any kind of emotional freak out cause I’m not inspired. I am inspired. And I’m inspired daily. It’s the little things that inspire me. The things I never notice. And the things that I do are just that more memorable. Like it being September. The air is very fall like. My favorite time of year.

I was just thinking about it and had to blog.