I get down a lot about raising Makena by myself. Not “by myself” in the sense that Jessica isnt involved, because she clearly is and is a great mommy. But I mean with it all being done from two homes. Every night I look around at the cleaning I need to do, the chores to be caught up on, the things to be picked up. It’s overwhelming sometimes. Not always, but at times. I started thinking about all the stresses I get from looking at it all. You know, that moment before you step back and take things one at a time? That first glance is when everything hits you at once. I started thinking and decided to look at them positively. So I wrote this the other day. It’s nothing spectacular, and it’s not out there for everyone…maybe it only applies to me. Hope you enjoy:
IF I HAVE…THEN I KNOW…
If I have toys all over my apartment, then I know my daughter was able to play and be happy.
If I have a sink full of bowls and spoons and bottles to clean, then I know my daughter has food and drink to stay healthy.
If I have loads of laundry to do, then I know my daughter has clean clothing to keep her warm and look cute in.
If I have wet and dirty diapers, then I know my daughter’s body is functioning properly and keeping her healthy.
If I have her crying and crawling towards me, then I know my daughter trusts me and seeks protection in me.
If I have sore arms and shoulders, then I know my daughter finds comfort in being held by me.
If I have bath toys and water around the bathroom, then I know my daughter is able to be bathed and kept clean.
If I have a disagreement with Jessica, then I know my daughter still has a mother who loves her very much.
If I have constant calls and emails from everyone, then I know I have family and friends that care deeply about my daughter.
If I have daycare costs, then I know my daughter has a safe and enjoyable place to be when I am not about to be with her.
If i have doctor bills, then I know my daughter is being kept healthy and well.
If I have to pay rent, then I know my daughter has shelter and a home.