There have been lots of highs, lots of lows, and many fucked up crazy stories that some of you may have even been a part of. All in all, life has hit me very fast. I havn’t been dealing with it to the best of my ability. In an attempt to balance everything out and not let life drag me down, I want to focus intently on writing a new album. My anxiety problem has been up so high lately, and I believe that it has a lot to do with the fact that I stopped writing music, playing gigs, and really playing guitar in general.
I’m trying not to pull a Syd Barrett (if you don’t know him, google), where I go crazy and lock myself in my room, but that’s honestly what I feel like doing. I feel like hiding from the world sometimes because I don’t know how much more of it that I can take. I’m so thankful for my friends, but sometimes I feel like I’m nothing more than a let down to them. I tend to feel that I’m a step behind in every situation, and that if I talk about things like this to people, they’ll push me out of their lives. I know that I shouldn’t feel like that, but I can’t stop.
Someone recently told me that if you shoot for the stars and get to the moon, you still did good. A lot of the time I feel like my engine stalled and I never left the launch pad.
I just want everyone to know who the real me is, and to be able to accept me for something other than Natetastic! I know a lot of you really care about me, so this doesn’t apply to everyone. A lot of you have realy helped me out and encouraged me through a lot of rough times.
Thank you all for helping me out.
In closing, I’ll leave you with a few of my favorite lines from one of my favorite songs:
“So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it’s sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you’re older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.
Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over,
Thought I’d something more to say.”
Time by Pink Floyd