How To Make Pancakes


How To: Make Pancakes

Step 1: Place youngest child in high chair with enough cut bananas and crackers to occupy her for at least 20 minutes.

Step 2: Crack one egg into bowl. beat until light and fluffy.

Step 3: Run into living room and press play on DVD for oldest two children.

Step 4: Return to kitchen. Turn back right burner on stove to warm skillet.

Step 5: Toss more crackers on high chair tray – wonder how long it will take to remove banana chunks from eyelashes of youngest child.

Step 6: Add brown sugar, milk, baking powder, flour to pancake batter – mix well.

Step 7: Run into living room to separate two older children from wrestling on couch over purple crayon.

Step 8: Return to kitchen, add small pat of butter to now-warm skillet.

Step 9: Mop up milk on kitchen floor from sippy cup tossed gleefully over side of highchair.

Step 10: Pour pancake batter into skillet.

Step 11: Run into living room and threaten between clenched teeth to turn off Alvin and the Chipmunks if two oldest children do not stop fighting this instant!

Step 12: Return to kitchen. Scrape burnt remains of first pancake into garbage disposal.

Step 13: Repour batter.

Step 14: Babble incoherently to youngest child – who has now been in highchair for well over 20 minutes – to keep her entertained. Realize I have been singing the Hokey Pokey after three verses.

Step 15: Flip pancake once edges have rounded, bubbles appear on surface.

Step 16: Fill cups of milk and orange juice respectively for oldest two children

Step 17: Am reminded after completing first four pancakes that kids wanted Mickey Mouse shaped pancakes.

Step 18: Return original batch of pancakes to skillet and attempt to add mickey ears without destroying integrity of original pancakes.

Step 19: Fail miserably

Step 20: Feed first attempts at pancakes to youngest child. still in highchair.

Step 21: Start new batch of pancakes. Add Mickey ears to all pancakes.

Step 22: Place pancakes on platter.

Step 23: Place platter on table.

Step 24: Realize we are totally and completely out of syrup.

Step 25: Attempt to fool children into thinking fruit should top pancakes shaped like Mickey Mouse because you can make faces out of blueberries and such.

Step 26: Am reminded by eldest daughter that she is not that silly.

Step 27: Apologize profusely to children and promise to purchase syrup at next trip to store.

Step 28: End up feeding kids oatmeal and consuming half of Mickey Mouse pancakes myself so they don’t go to waste.

Lesson Learned: Even Nick Drake in the kitchen can’t drown out The Laurie Berkner Band in the living room…