Drive Fast & Turn Left!

I would first like to wish everyone a fantastic Memorial Day. We should all take a minute and realize what this great day truely stands for: an opportunity to rest the entire day after 500 weekend; A three-day bender the likes that can only be duplicated in a movie about Las Vegas.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a rationale individual and believe that auto racing is the lamest excuse for a sport since bowling, but it is quite the shit-show. Nowhere else in the world would millionaire italians subject themselves to the lowliest lifeforms that have ever popped out of woman. In addition to the scenes in Speedway, the joy of spending time with family and friends cannot be overstated. Sharing laughter at the expense of other people is one of my greatest pleasures (Sorry drunk guy who fell ass-first into the trough uninal). As great as this sounds, the intensity of the race overshadows the hilarity of other drunk people when you, yourself, are three too many Foster’s oil cans into your afternoon.

All of the noise and confusions combine together to create a sense of excitement that I miss the second those checkered flags come down, symbolizing the year I must wait to feel that way again. Thank you Indianapolis Motor Speedway for another great chase. After all of this, the entire state is too tired to venture to the office come Monday. Without Memorial Day (observed) off, unemployement in the greater Indianapolis area would skyrocket.

At the end of the day, regardless of how much we love the greatest spectacule on the planet, we must pay respect to the United States Soldier. As much as we all hate war, this is the best country that has ever existed and it is all due to the bravery of those who have died to grant America its freedom. Without them, watching rich people waste gas for three and a half hours could not be used as an excuse to get drunk on Sunday.