Dear Victoria…

Dear Victoria,

It’s not a secret anymore. You suck. Big time. Your store has gone from being my ONLY go-to place for everything under my clothes (and sometimes even just clothes) to my most despised store in the mall. Your inadequecies are multiplying like the H1N1 virus, and it’s quite disturbing.

Your employees have no friggin clue how to measure someone for a bra. I was measured by 2 different people who both measured me completely differently. Are these people really trained? Come on, let’s be honest. They’ve got about as much expertise as the Walmart lingerie department employees.

I actually went into your store TWICE in 2 days, hoping I’d have better results when I came with my husband…not so much. The first time I couldn’t even find anyone who worked in the store who could help me find what I wanted. The second time, there was plenty of staff…and they were all equally rude. In fact, one woman who was coming back from a break would NOT step aside and let me (CUSTOMER) by with my stroller!

I tried on well over 15 bras, and none of them fit. I tried on everything from a 36C to a 38D and everything in between…3 bra boxes, ladies (for those of you who know what I’m talking about)…and none of them fit properly. Whatever Victoria’s Secret to finding a properly fitting bra is, she’s NOT telling me.

So, Victoria, it seems our affair is done. I now shop Macy’s for all of my underthings, and thanks to Calvin Klein, my boobs are much happier anyway ;)