crap


I’ve been thinking of some odd things as I drive to work recently. Mainly I curse at the other drivers who never seem to be in a hurry in the mornings. I hate getting stuck behind other drivers! What’s worse is when you get stuck behind what I like to call a rolling roadblock. That’s when all possible lanes going your way have a car in it that chooses to go the same speed as the car next to it, completely blocking you from passing these slow-ass individuals. Add another car to this group and you have what I call a “flotilla” of cars. Like a pack of cars you can’t get around, these usually make me wish I was driving a Nerf car to bump someone out of my way. Usually on the expressway, flotillas are caused by police cars. Because everyone in the group is afraid to pass, they just group there like guppies swimming in a school hoping not to get eaten. While the police cars lurk the roads like sharks waiting to snap onto the tail of a speeder or missing headlight. The “cheaters” tick me off sometimes as well. They are the cars that come off side roads or out of parking lots and immediately skip lanes to get into the lane they want, and just hope everyone slows while they do it. Traffic law says you must enter the lane of traffic nearest you and then change lanes after signaling. Did you know you can turn left on a redlight as long as you are turning from a one way street onto a one way street?

Driving to work today in the snow, I was thinking of how context can change the “feel” of a sentence. Like if a woman says to her lover,”You shouldn’t come over, the roads are treacherous,” And the guy says,”Nothing can keep me from you, beautiful.” Now that’s sweet and romantic. But if his ex-girlfriend just broke up with him again, and he’s not taking the hint and says,”Nothing can keep me from you, beautiful.” Now may be the time for an EPO and some pepper spray or a taser! It’s all about context.