Crazy Conversation, I have to share.
I did some catching up tonight [LONG OVERDUE] with a friend of mine. We started with the usual “How are things” but then got on the subject of relationships, probably because we are complete twins when it comes to how we deal with the opposite sex. Both former chunks and awkwards, we have issues when it comes to having realistic images of ourselves. Who doesn’t right?
Anyway, my friend shared a conversation he had with some friends at a coffee house. Now we are both super romantics, but not so much in the traditional sense. I do like to cuddle but not when I really want to just sleep, I loathe cheesy stuffed animals, I think if a guy ever sang a song for me I’d probably laugh, and don’t even get me started on poems BUT I am in love with the thought of being in love. THAT my friends, is what the coffee house convo was all about, LOVE.
Apparently there was some REAL asshole there who kept questioning everyone. You know kinda like the “You don’t want a monkey guy”. My friend kept talking about his past relationships and this guy kept asking all these crazy questions. To sum up an extremely LONG conversation, the point the asshole was trying to make was that if you add up all of your past, failed relationships it equals your journey to the ultimate goal of finding real love.
My question here was whether or not this guy was saying it was only possible to be in love once. I mean it sounded like he was discarding relationships [which are valuable and necessary in my opinion] as just mere stepping stones. Yeah you need them to step on and on, but they weren’t worth anything once you get to the end. To be honest, at this point in the convo I didn’t have any advice to give me friend, I was kinda turned off by this whole coffeehouse conversation and over discussing it.
Then the real TM kicks in. You know her! The Carrie’esque over-analyzer who can’t get her mind off a problem until the solution has been found, or at least a solution which will suffice for that moment. Maybe I didn’t disagree so much with asshole? I mean if you consider an on and off again relationship, isn’t that just stepping forward then stepping back stepping forward then stepping back and never being able to reach the ultimate destination? What about asshole saying failed relationships weren’t real love? I mean maybe he had a bad break up at some point or another because I can say I really did love people I had relationships with. Now we aren’t talking casual dating here. Yeah I don’t want any of those people to get hit with a bus, but if they didn’t earn a whole stepping stone, then I mean what would asshole consider them?
What about this word love? I love my family. I love my dog. I love going to Starbucks. I love learning. I love pedicures. I love Dutch Tulips. I love Steel Magnolias. I love old school soul. I LOVE having a full schedule. I love taking vintage pieces and making them my own. Why can’t I [according to asshole man] have loved a few lucky boys along the way and still have an ultimate love goal? This is where I think asshole man doesn’t make any sense and his theory crumbles. I have two very good examples.
Example number one. A friendship turned to wanting more turned to confusion turned to nothing turned to an endless cycle until someone chose to break it. This would be the example where you love someone so much you say and do crazy things because your emotions are just so charged. I mean this is after-school special love at it’s finest. Is asshole saying this isn’t “real” love? I certainly had no desire to be with anyone else, ever. Eventually love turned to disgust and hate because of dishonesty, cheating, and overall disrespect. Even still, I have to admit [as unhealthy as it may be] those feelings of crazy love come back in seconds and I’m back to not having the desire to be with anyone else.
Example number two. This would be the complete opposite of number one. Confidence meets confidence which is added to lots of sweaty action (at the GYM) and small thoughtfulness and an overall appreciation and desire for more which ended because of outside factors. This was the example that made me question if it was too good to be true. Was this just another stepping stone? Perhaps, but again, love was still apparent. This one bears no animosity, just regret as it relates to the outside factors.
I’m sure none of this rambling is making any sense, but typing is way faster than writing. Once I had typed some of this, I thought this asshole man’s theory might spark some interesting responses from my LOVES. SEE, I use LOVE all the time! So please, share if you so desire.
I’m gonna cut myself off here.