A Few Key Points about Getting Stuck in a Torrential Downpour for 15-20 minutes.
1) It is infinitely more satisfying to jump in large puddles in your flip flop than it is to do so in your green suede flats.
(So…that’s Argument #362 for always carrying a spare pair of flip flops in your purse.)
2) Where do all the homeless people go??? In the 45 seconds it took for every single homeless person loafing about on the front steps & benches of the library to realize that it was raining…they’d all completely disappeared! It was like magic.
3) There is nothing that makes me smile faster than seeing other people miserable and grumbling. (schaudenfreude) It’s Rain! It’s not rocket science! If it’s cloudy & overcast & smells like ozone all day you can bet your Great Aunt Bippy there’s gonna be precipitation soon! Take precautions. Bring an umbrella. And if you don’t (see also: my wet hair, dripping duds & soaked sweater) you aren’t allowed to complain about it. The end.
4) Revel in it. I did. I took the long walk back to work. I cut around some puddles making little hippity-hoppity jumps over every crack in the sidewalk. I waited until parents with small children scurried by, shoulders hunched, before I jumped in the choicest puddles, winking at the little kids. It gives them something to aspire to… to be that adult that’s allowed to jump in puddles whenever they want.
5) Indiana has been so retardedly DRY this summer that I’d forgotten what a rainy day smelled like. It was hot like ozone and worms and dirt. And it made me miss being a kid for a minute. We used to go count the worms out on the driveway after a good rain. Yeah. I know. Don’t say it. We were odd little kids.
6) I am in awe of people that can make rain boots look fashionable. Oh, I OWN a cute pair of rain boots. They’re black and skinny and nearly-knee-high, and they have crazy little polka dots all over them. I think they’re adorable…and I rarely get to wear them… but I still feel like a kid clomping around in her dad’s work boots when I wear them. And yet, there are women out there that defy that standard. They look chic and stylish in their big rubber boots. It’s mystifying to me, but I love it.
7) I should probably invest in an umbrella. Or two. But then I’d just leave them hanging at home on the coat rack or in the cubby under my desk at work. Owning something does not mandate that you use it…even when you ought.
8) No One looks attractive after getting caught in the rain. No. One. I’m okay with this. I’m not too stellar to begin with, so it doesn’t bother me in the least. It fits my argument against wearing tons of makeup nicely also. But seriously? I’m dripping; head to toe. My hair looks like I just stepped out of the shower. The cotton dress I’ve got on is soaked from hip to knee and the wraparaound sweater on top is soaked from shoulder to hip. And I’m grinning like a fool.