brain vs self for the college student


another older one, but it got deleted some how so here ya go
Category: Life

read this as a conversation between brain and self. i don’t have the time to put in each line of self and brain, so use your imagination….and no i don’t actually talk to myself, nor answer myself, nor even really think/say these things in real life….just take it as some funny ass shit that made you cry!

Time to wake up.
What time is it?
6 something.

It’s 9!
Shit, I’m late.
Screw it.

There’s an attendance requirement. How many can you miss?
3.
How many have you missed?
47.
Well, one more won’t kill you.
YEEEEOW! OMIGOD!
What?
I just rolled over on my morning wood.
I think I broke it. Let me check.
Ok it’s fine.
Hey, while I’m down here….
Whatever happened to Jimmy Ray?
Who wants to know?
Awfully witty this morning, Brain.
Have you tried this Gillette body/hair stuff? You can use it on both.
This is extraordinary because I’ve always wondered if I should use
shampoo on my wang bush.
You used soap?
Yeah, what did you use?
I dunno, I’m just the brain. I cease to function during showers and
masturbating.
But I’m talking to you now, and I’m in the shower.
I just came to pick up a few things, then I’m gone.

Why do you not work during masturbating?
Do you really want me telling you those chicks you fantasize about
would never touch you?
Good point. Hey Brain…
Yeah?
Thanks.
Ok, I’m out of the shower.
I know.
That’s really something, Brain.
TV dinner for lunch?
Would that not make it a TV lunch?
Take it easy, Plato.
If you had to have sex with a guy, who would it be.
Tom Brady