Bob Sanders is the new Chuck Norris


Bob Sanders, the new Chuck Norris/Jack Bauer:

- 70% of the Earth is covered by water….the rest is covered by Bob Sanders.
– Bob Sanders can tackle himself…FROM BEHIND.
– Indy’s Defense is called the Cover 2 because the team is only responsible for covering 2 people…Bob Sanders covers the rest.
– Bob Sanders is not only a noun but also a verb.
– Years ago when a global threat emerged the President’s first question was “Where are our carriers?”. Now he just asks “Where is Bob Sanders?”
– Bob Sanders makes onions cry
– Bob Sanders can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
– Bob Sanders invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Brady invented pink
– If you say “Bob Sanders” three times while looking in a mirror, you’ll feel pretty stupid. Then Bob Sanders will rush through the door and tackle you for a four yard loss.
– When Justin Timberlake brought SexyBack, Bob Sanders was already there, and he hit Justin so hard he now goes by the name Kevin Federline.
– It was once thought Bob Sanders lost a fight to a Bear. But that was a lie created by Bob Sanders himself to lure more Bears to him.
– Bob Sanders doesn’t read offenses. He just stares them down until they give up the information he wants.
– They once renamed a street after Bob Sanders, but they had to change it back. Too many pedestrians died crossing it.
– You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Bob Sanders only misses 25% of them.
– When Casius Clay changed his name he was going to use Bob Sanders but realized…he just wasn’t that good.
– They were going to release a Bob Sanders edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be “Bob Sanders / In the secondary / with a spear tackle”
– Bob Sanders pities Mr. T.
– Newtons 1st law of motion is actually an object in motion will stay in motion until hit by Bob Sanders
– Bob Sanders can tackle a tree stump.
– Bigfoot takes pictures of Bob Sanders
– Bob Sanders is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry; the man ate the Chiefs.
– When Bob Sanders executes a push up, he does not push himself up, but pushes the earth down.
– LaDanian Tomlinson wears a tinted visor so that he will never have to look Bob Sanders in the eyes.
– Bob Sanders frequently donates blood to the Red Cross