‘Twas the night before Christmas and all I recall,
We sang Christmas carols and downed alcohol.
My mother discovered my unsober state,
Her eyes filled with anger relaying my fate.
We played it off, as good as could be,
My stutters and stumbles she plainly could see.
The middle of night, I made such a clatter,
Meatballs and cheese turned projectile matter
Lying in vomit I woke in my bed,
While nothing but pain danced in my head,
Hoping my presents, were hangover cures,
First Christmas ever, my mom was in tears
Opening presents I hid from the light,
Never knew the damn snow was so fucking bright.
The presents all opened, the family all fed,
Counting my losses, crawled back into bed.
In no mood for Santa’s fat-ass full of cheer.
Just one Christmas line I needed to hear
Merry Christmas to all, by no one was said.
When i think of playing dodgeball i imagine playing on the playground of Jackson Elementary School. i don’t remember being exhausted and sweating profusely at the end of it all. Playing dodgeball for 50 minutes actually is a workout and leaves you extremely sore. But, it is a good time and i recommend it to all. But ow.
So i went from being on Team Ramrod to playing against them on opening night. i had been secretly hoping our teams were in different leagues, but nope. Naturally i told my team to just let them win. i know how sensitive mojo’rs are and didn’t want to make any enemies. It was strange throwing at folks that previously only existed in mojoland. i felt like i knew them and they had no idea. It was nice to confirm that these people on here are actually real. i look forward to a future rematch once i learn how to throw a damn ball.
Why am i sore?
Dodgeball, drinking, white castle, sleeping on the floor. It was a good night. Now it’s time to play some tennis.
i am in between names right now and since i am yet to actually meet any mojo member, what better time than now to find a suitable name.
1. sampstar (pronounced sam p star) is a name that Purdue kids call me since for some reason we always use our aim screennames for the most part. i don’t like the cheesiness of the star in the name, but i’ve had it since near birth
2. uncle sam – i’m an uncle and it seemed to fit the other day. Maybe Drunkle Sam, since i’m more of a drunk than an uncle.
3. Smooth – that was actually my nickname back in college 1. i wish there was a better story behind it involving ladies, but it had to do with a bball player known as the “Big Smooth.” Nobody ever buys that story though.
4. Butler – something to do with Butler might work, but i’ve got nothing specific in mind.
5. Samsonite – i was way off (i hope you catch that movie reference)
6. @$$ – maybe just some symbols
i don’t know, i need input.
Ironically, i watched “the Ex” with my ex and it was simply not funny. It starred the stars of two of my favorite tv shows (Scrubs and Arrested Development), but it only had a few solid moments of humor.
Two best lines:
“Your son Petey is a shithead” or
“That’s for eating my yogart, douche.”
Bill Bregoli from Westwood One is a liar, as right on the cover he said it was “Outrageously Funny!” i don’t know what
i went to Blockbuster with the intention of renting “Over the Hedge” and without watching it, will say to rent that instead or i’ll let you borrow the Arrested Development dvds.