“Portrait of a Friend”

I can’t give solutions to all of life’s problems, doubts,
or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will
search for answers.

I can’t change your past with all it’s heartache and pain,
nor the future with its untold stories.
But I can be there now when you need me to care.

I can’t keep your feet from stumbling.
I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.

Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;
Yet I can share in your laughter.

Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;
I can only support you, encourage you,
and help you when you ask.

I can’t prevent you from falling away from friendship,
from your values, from me.
I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.

I can’t give you boundaries which I have determined for you,
But I can give you the room to change, room to grow,
room to be yourself.

I can’t keep your heart from breaking and hurting,
But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces
and put them back in place.

I can’t tell you who you are.
I can only love you and be your friend.

You aren’t going to be her 1st, her last, or her only… shes loved before; she will love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? Shes not perfect – you’re not either and the two of you will never be perfect. If she can make you laugh atlest once, causes you to think twice, and if she admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to her and give her the most you can.She isn’t going to quote poetry, shes not going to be thinking about you every moment of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows YOU can break – her HEART. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad and miss her when shes not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect girls don’t exist, but there’s always ONE girl that is perfect for you. Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says,”…..that’s her.” “After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. You learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So, plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure… that you really are strong, and you really do have worth.”

They say only time will tell, well how long do you wait? Love is a word that is so over used. My good friends have taught me so much about myself and to say how I feel when I feel it. But it seems when I do that I get hurt. Does it ever end? Does ones heart ever go back to normal after being torn little by little as the time goes on…. or if it really does ever heal. I honestly believe “if you love someone set them free, if they come back it was meant to be” and do they ever come back? I have so much to learn about life. Some things we may never find the answers to, and if that is what is best then that is how it will be. You cant make someone love you, you can only stalk them in hopes they will love you back, but is that really LOVE?

Time is precious and we all no know we are not getting any younger…so we must get back up and try try again. We shouldnt let anyone keep knocking us down, just get up and walk by, with a big smile. Kindness is the best way to kill em. If you ever really mean anything to them, they will come back.

enough venting…. alot on my mind!

LOST

LOST in a world, that scares me to death. Lost in a crowd, Im losing my breath.

Lost as a girl, lost as a woman. I need to grow up, dont think I can.

Lost as a person, cant find my way. Lost in life, everyday.

Lost in worry, who am I? All my life, Ive lived a LIE!

Lost to kindness, lost to love. Lost in a sky, like a new-born dove.

Lost in thought, which I shouldnt do/ It winds me up, I cant get through.

Lost to comfort, all kind words. Lost to advice, it isnt heard.

Lost to those who really care. All these people, always there.

Lost in me, I need a break. Lost in wonder, which road to take?

Lost in a place I dont know well, Where are you now? Theres no one to tell.

Lost here, all alone! Like being apart from my mobile phone.

Lost still, there are no calls. Im struggling alone, to break these walls.

Lost in mind, lost in soul. Lost memories, theyre just a hole.

Lost family, lost mate. gone now, and Im full of hate.

Lost in a big world, and I dont wanna play. Lost now, for what to say.

Lost in boredom, think Ill leave. Theres a lot in my life I need to acheive.

SO you might all like this is funny, since you all know how directionally challenged I am …but here it goes…

Life is a like a freakin road map. There are so many turns, and dead ends and wrong ways… I am constantly asking myself which way to go? or Did I make the right decision? Why cant there just be a ONE way sign? I feel like I am constantly hitting the dangerous curves, and then smack into the do not enter sign. Rest stops along the way are nice.. but I am tired of them, you get no rest there and it feels like you have to keep running from one to another…

warning signs dont really help, once you get to it, you have already been through too much. I guess I should say life is like road signs… huh?

I think I am finally doing whats right, but I am stuck at a yield sign. I guess sometimes, you have to wait for the light to turn green, and it will if you take your time through the yellow, and hope you dont get stopped at red. ( watch out though you dont want to get the caution slow moving object sign )

Maybe life was meant to be like this… how else are we suppose to learn??

“The best and most beautiful things cannot be seen or touched, they must be felt with the heart”