Another Winter… I say NO!


This article is to remind you about the shittiness of living in Indiana. This is the time of year where my brain has some little ..hiccups.. and makes complete spoken sentences damn near impossible. A typical thought my come out like this, ..I can’t believe Steven Jackson is such a HOLY FUCK ITS COLD dumbass, shooting at disabled people. I hope he goes to OH MY GOD ARE MY BALLS STILL ATTACHED jail for a long time.

When I have to sit in the back of class and spend an hour picking my balls out from between my lungs because it is so cold, you’d think I would learn to get the fuck out of town this time of year. No, my insolence is even higher than you imagined. Even worse than my balls ascending, is the fact that now there will be NOTHING to do in Indiana. All the fun activities you can think of are raped in the ass by Jack Frost (at least he gives a reach-around … or so I hear).

This leads to my other problem. I have certain times of the day when I am bored off my ass. It’s more like when I don’t have enough time to do something fun, but enough time that there is a long period of boredom. With this cold weather creeping in, I’m reduced to making you people laugh at my stupidity.

Look if we kick Jack Frost’s fucking ass we won’t lose anything but 3 months of misery. We are leaving Europe out of this because they refuse to get rid of France. So that means if you are a winter sports person you can go over there and still have your fun. Back to the point, we can still have the important x-mas, cause Rudolph is a pussy and he will land on rooftops with out snow if I tell him to. Hell he does it for people in Arizona anyways, we are just gonna make him do it in Indiana.

Now you ask how do I plan to accomplish this feat??? Well a simple mirror will do the trick. Ladies, I am taking all you damned mirrors from your makeup and building a giant mirror to reflect even more sun to warm the Midwest up. It’s not like you need them anyways. Look in a real mirror at home before you go out to apply make-up