A new beginning


well as always ppl are crazy for blogs and such im not much into it yet. but this blog will be about my motivation for the future. feel free to gander and witness my confession and see if i stand true to my word over the course of time. only time will tell i recon. actions do speak louder then words and thats how i roll.

i have recently recovered from the darkside of life. almost cost me my life but was blessed one more unknown reason why and given another chance to restart. this time i plan on making full recovery and become more then i planned. here is what happened. i got injured 8yrs ago went and competed in a huge athletic competition while injured and didnt measure up to the standards that got me there and thus felt huge let down for myself and country, spiraled into a big depression and ultimatly almost to my demise. durring that 8yrs i had surgery on neck to fix that problem, while it was healing a break down occured that took forever to heal…mental state crashed further and darkness came in…it finally healed i tried to get restarted and fell again and this fall broke me down further…this is when i became clueless to how far i would go from there. ended up being to the point i closed off and secluded myself from all social interactions even family gave up on life and myself and tried to finish it slowly. was true torture of sorts. at my lowest point my wounded got infected cost me 1yr and a half 2 olympic events i could have gone too and almost took my life. i had surgery to fix wound… was released to early and the surgical site broke and i almost bled out… while i was bleeding and preparring for my demise i somehow got nudged and some how snapped out of it. since then road to recovery…..

The path forward:
im healed now from all wounds and injuries im currently at 43% of potential. Ive admited to myself to see a psych and talk about how to keep ahead of things. im working out now and have a trainer. Im volunteering currently for 2 disabled youth programs. I make myself go outside at least 2x a day even if raining. Currently planning move to las vegas to pursue full workout training program for 4yr agenda to try to make London 2012. sacrificed going to beijing this year :( to try to get in best shape of my life by 40 and try stemcell surgery before big health push for life to work the true full potential of any kind of growth or recovery. gain job in adapted recreation for city of lasvegas/clarkcounty.

this will be an on going study into myself in personal observation as to me actually continueing to update this for others to read i perhaps might not do that. here u get a general idea of my road to the future so to speak and possibly gain insite to a little about me. in this if u see yourself a little and wish to relate back or comment please feel free to do so. I do what i want and do not go off what others think 7billion ppl on this planet ya know?

anywayz if u would like to know more feel free to say hi. if u would like to be friends say hello … if u need help in something you have going on and think i can perhaps help u guide your way definitly feel free to say hi … one never knows till the idea is presented and it clicks to the person who needs the info from someone else. we all are here to learn from one anotehr its up to us to actually do that.
july 7,2008